What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
