Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize