"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
