Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
