I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
