i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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