I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
