So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
