We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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