your parents love me but you hate me
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
