Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
