ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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