they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize