How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize