i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
