He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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