I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
