Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
