Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Randomize
