yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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