Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
