i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
