I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
