My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
