Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
