I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
