I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
