North Korea, Best Korea!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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