That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
