Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
