I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
