Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
