its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
