I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize