My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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