I smell stomach acid.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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