You can't special order awesome
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
