yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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