I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
