..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm both gender and math confused
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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