i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
