Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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