Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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