You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
