wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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