Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
