with your own penis?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize