Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it's like iHOP with fire
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
