Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize