i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
