what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
