i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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