Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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