her vagina looked like bernie madoff
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize