Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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