cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
