Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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