I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
