Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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