We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize