Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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