I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
