Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
