Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
