Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
