Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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