ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
