Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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