She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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